Lovesickness refers to a negative feeling from unreturned love, especially when someone is deeply in love with someone else. In discussions of lovesickness, one controversial issue has been whether failed or unrequited love can produce illness. Since ancient times, physicians believed that unreturned love could produce an illness of the mind and body. People can be prone to love sickness due to the over idealizations of a person. Literatures have shown they can also be affected psychologically and physiologically. Nikolai Gogol, the author of the story “The Nevsky Project” writes about love sickness and how it can actually be fatal to one’s overall health and life. Though the story is a work of fiction, a lot of what the main character experiences is what can happen in reality, and the consequences that can follow.
Idealization is when one believes and sometimes even acts on, something is better than what it truly is. Depending on the situation at hand, it can be seen as either a good or bad thing. In the story, “The Nevsky Prospect” by Nikolai Gogol, the main character Piskarev over idealizes a person he deemed to be perfect. Overidealizations can often lead you to create false narratives of a person especially when love isn’t reciprocated. For example, Piskarev falls in love with a lady that he barely knows and has only met one night. That same night he finds out that she is actually a prostitute, and refuses to accept that she is not the perfect woman he perceived her to be. At the time, in Russian society, women were supposed to be and be seen as pure and innocent. If they weren’t deemed to fit into that criteria, they were seen as unmarriageable. He begins to idealize the lady into what he assumes and wishes her to be in his dreams. According to the text, Piskarev said in a dream “ God, what joy! It’s she! She again! but now with a completely different look! Oh, how nicely she sits by the window of a bright country house! Her dress breathes such simplicity as only a poet’s thought is clothed in. Her hair is done . . . O Creator, how simply her hair is done, and how becoming it is to her! A short shawl lightly covers her slender neck; everything in her modest, everything in her is a mysterious–inexplicable sense of taste. How lovely her graceful gait! How musical the sound of her footsteps and the rustle other simple dress! How beautiful her arm collapsed round with a bracelet of hair!”(263) In his dream he portrays the lady as if she is some sort of majestic and innocent angel despite his complete understanding that she is a prostitute, and he continues to dream. The author writes that “ Of all his dreams, one was the most joyful for him: he imagined his studio, he was so happy, he sat holding the palette with such pleasure! And she was right there. She was his wife now. She sat beside him, her lovely elbow resting on the back of his chair, and looked at his work. Her eyes; languid, weary, showed the burden of bliss; everything in his room breathed of paradise; there was such brightness, such order! O Creator! she leaned her lovely head on his breast … He had never had a better dream.” (264) Instead of accepting her for who she is, he is choosing to create a false reality of her to fit the figment of his imagination. This can lead him to being love sick because he is setting himself to fall in love with something that is unattainable. When a person idealizes someone in a romantic way and it’s not being reciprocated it can lead someone to becoming lovesick.
Lovesickness isn’t just about the feelings of romance, sadness and longing that Piskarev experienced. The condition contains elements of intrusive thoughts, obsession, impulsiveness and delusions that research has shown can mimic mental illness. Like anxiety, stress, insomnia, or depression. Piskarev said “Again he waited till evening, again fell asleep, again dreamed of some official who was an official and at the same time a bassoon. “Oh, this was unbearable! At last she came! Her head and her tresses …she looks… Oh, wow how brief! Again the mist, again some stupid dream” (262). He would continuously try to force himself to dream of this woman. “God, be merciful; show her to me for a moment at least, Just for a moment!”(262). He eventually drove himself to the point of developing insomnia, despite knowing who she truly was and that her feelings for him were not returned. After sometime, he could no longer sleep and even when he did, he could no longer dream of her. He began taking drastic measures to restore his dreams by taking opium. The author says, “Such a state unsettled his health, and his most terrible torment was that sleep finally began to desert him entirely. Wishing to salvage this his only possession, he used every means to restore it. He heard that there was a means to restore it. He heard that there was a means of restoring sleep–one had only to take opium”(262). And that “Taking opium enflamed his thoughts still more, and if anyone was ever in love to the uttermost degree of madness, impetuously, terribly, destructively, stormily, he was that unfortunate man” (264). In accordance with his overidealizations, his dreams would be filled with his own false situations that he would believe and wish to be real. He would dream that the women wanted to change her life, and become the marriageable woman he desired. The text said, “Strange thoughts were born in his head. “It may be, he thought that she’s been drawn into depravity by some involuntary, terrible accident; it may be that the impulse of her soul is inclined to repentance; it may be that she herself wishes to tear herself away from her terrible condition”. With this unfortunate and deluded conclusion, he goes to her and asks for her hand in marriage but in reality she verbalizes that she did not love him or even really know outside of the one night that they had met. And since the love that Piskaerv felt for her wasn’t returned back, it drove him into a depression so deep that he couldn’t recover, so he took his own life. In different ways, lovesickness has even a psychological affect and can drive someone to do deranged things that are out of character for them and unfortunately have tragic endings.
Lovesickness can also have a physiological effect on someone and their everyday life. Piskaerv made obsessing over and dreaming about the lady a priority in his life. To be “blinded by love” is a real thing. Don’t be mistaken, love doesn’t set your imagination and soul on fire figuratively. Research has shown that love can trigger specific regions of the brain, causing the release of different chemicals and neurotransmitters that can influence one’s emotions and behaviors. But what’s not to be ignored is the parts of the brain that it deactivates, reducing someone’s ability to truly judge someone’s character. Or reducing someone’s concern for themselves by putting this person they love ahead of their own well being. It consumed so much of his daily life he wasn’t taking care of his basic needs. “He did not think about anything, he even ate almost nothing, and impatiently, with a lover’s passion, waited for evening and the desired vision. His thoughts were constantly turned to one thing, and this finally acquired such power over his whole being and imagination that the desired image came to him almost everyday.”(264) This goes on to show the lack of concern he has for his own mental and physical health. Allowing your body to be void of any of these basic things as simple as hygiene and nutrition, can lead your body to be degraded physically, emotionally, and mentally. The author says, “He lay in bed till noon, wishing to fall asleep;”(262) and “The everyday and real struck oddly on his ear. Thus he sat till evening, when he greedily rushed to bed.” (262) Piskaerv’s lovesickness caused him to neglect his physiology in him deciding that going to sleep and dreaming of this woman was more important than taking care of himself physically.
In the article titled “Brain in Love” by Benedict Carey, he would argue that idealizations are needed; Carey further goes into how idealizations in relationships can be healthy especially when it comes to “rough spots” between partners. In 1996 there was an experiment conducted to determine how much the couples idealized their partner and how well the couple was doing. The researchers concluded that “the couples who lasted longer were those who idealized each other the most”(402). Even though this may be the case for relationships in Carey’s article; Piskarev shows that over idealizing can be dangerous and cause harm to oneself. When the love was not reciprocated, as it was shown to be a one-sided experience, which left Piskarev feeling pain, grief, and shame.
Overall, it may be argued, the effects of unrequited love can be detrimental to one’s well-being. Upon reading the Nevsky prospect, Nikolai Gogol, which demonstrates that unreturned love could produce an illness of the mind and body. Therefore, lovesickness can ultimately cause more harm than good, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional.
Work Cited
Carey, Benedict. “The Brain in Love.” Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times, 16 Dec. 2002, www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2002-dec-16-he-love16-story.html.
Gogol, Nikolai. “Gogol: Nevsky Prospect: Paper.” Barnes & Noble, BloomsburyAcademic, 1 Jan. 1998, www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ gogol-nikolai-gogl/1114251399.
