In the essay, “The Brain in Love ”, Benedict Carey describes how biology determines matters of attraction and how the effect of love on the brain is almost like the effect of being on drugs. Carey uses different kinds of studies done on the effect of love on the brain to explain his point of view. Some may disagree with Carey and say that science can measure the full emotions that come with love, but from my point of view I agree with him.
Benedict Carey shows different kinds of research done on what love does to the brain. Carey used a study from Fisher’s group which concluded that the experience of romantic attraction activated pockets of the brain with high concentration of receptors of dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that makes us feel pleasure. In this particular study, the researchers gathered young women and men who are in relationships. They were shown a picture of their significant other and a close friend. Their brain activity was significantly different when they were shown their significant other compared to their close friend. Fisher says “couples often show signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention, and exquisite delight in the smallest details of this novel relationship.” As the study shows what happens to the brain with romantic attraction, you can see that there is a biological factor that is affected.
In another study, Bartels and Zeki compared MRI images to brain scans taken from people in different emotional states. The other emotional states that were tested were sexual arousal, feelings of happiness, and cocaine-induced euphoria. Compared to these feelings they concluded that the pattern of agape, or romantic love, was similar, but unique. Zeki says “These were young people who were practically willing to die for their lover. You would expect that the images would reflect many strong emotions all at once.” People who are in love can end up doing crazy things. For example, in Gogol’s reading, “The Nevsky Prospect”, A man named Piskarev was so in love with a lady that he met once that he kept dreaming about her until he reached the point of insomnia. When Piskarev couldn’t dream about the lady anymore he took extreme measures to fill the void. “Such a state unsettled his health, and his most terrible torment was that sleep finally began to desert him entirely. Wishing to salvage this his only possession, he used every means to restore it. He heard that there was a means of restoring sleep– one had only to take opium.”(262) It’s as if the feeling of love works like a drug. Once you’re in that feeling of love you aren’t able to let it go so easily. You are so high on cloud 9 that you do not want to come back down. Biologically it shows that there is high amounts of dopamine that is released while in love.
The rest of Carey’s essay goes into healthy romanticizing and how it is important in relationships. This can make or break a relationship. Excessive idealization of your significant other will lead to a short term relationship because all the dreams you have in your head won’t come true. In one study led by Ted Hudson, he says “People who had very intense, Hollywood- type romances at the beginning were likely to have a big drop-off later on, and this often changed their view of the other’s character” People who over idealize their partner fall in “the Don Quixote effect”. It’s an effect that is faced by a person who is infatuated with an idea or several ideas of what they believe is the truth and tries to pursue those ideas. For example, “In the blizzard” by Pushkin, Marya is a character who falls in love with a person based on her ideas of what she thought love was. The short story says “Marya Gavrilovna was brought up on French Novels and consequently in love”(20) The author shows us that her ideas of love came from French novels. Since her ideas came from unrealistic situations, she had unrealistic expectations for love. In the short story she stated,“Since we cannot live without each other and the will of our hard-hearted parents is barring our happiness, then why can we not ignore it.”(21) Marya was willing to run away from her family to pursue the love that she wanted. She wanted to do whatever it takes to achieve her fantasy, but sooner or later that love will run out because it didn’t meet her expectations.
All in all, I agree with Carey that romantic attraction works as a drug. In the essay he shows different kinds of experiments to back up his argument and I find it fascinating how your brain functions when you experience these different kinds of emotions from love. He also ties in healthy romanticizing and connects it to his argument above. Carey says “If passionate romance is like a drug, then it’s bound to lose its kick” If you were to fall in love with someone just based on romantic attraction with no substance and with high idealizations, that feeling is bound to end compared to that euphoric feeling you feel after intaking a drug.
